disturbia

i don't know why im so caught up with those thoughts again.
to go for it, or to take a step back.
frankly speaking, i'm quite tired.

wow, to think 5 days just passed like that.
i had fun today,
and that calls for a good sleep :)

prelims' in 2 days time,
and right now, i seriously don't want to bother anymore.

it's a slow growing but there's a knowing

come to think of it,
perhaps i should've put in that extra effort just for you..
oh wells.

actions definitely speak louder than words.
it's seriously no point in telling others you care
but when you guys meet up you act like you don't care..
no matter how emotionless you are,
i'm sure that's always ways to show you care.
something i need to think about.

"people don't open their hearts to preoccupied, fast-paced individuals;
they will to those who make the time to sit quietly, ask gently, and listen intently."
a good food for thought.

viva la vida

it's funny how i've been blogging so much lately.
i guess it's a good avenue of me releasing my thoughts,
esp since so many things have been happening.

been spending countless nights thinking about loads of stuff
almost everything and anything about my life
but it's good lah, getting my thoughts sorted out
for a better tomorrow.

i like today's message -
psalm 46:10 says "be still and know I am GOD"
a very encouraging verse to me.
i also committed pressing areas in my life to GOD during my prayer :)
so yup, i dont wanna think so much sometimes,
but i just wanna cast everything on HIM.

alrights, tmr's the start of the holidays
i hope and pray that i'll use it to study to the best of my abilities :)

okay, off to dinner with my sis.
ciao you guys.

finally, i see

you know, recently my long time friends
have been telling me about how i've changed so much.
i guess going to MI changed me alot.

yup, i admit that way back i was
a nerd.
an insensitive.
quite untrustworthy.
perhaps a loser.
perhaps a meanie.
a total faggot.
pretty unlovable, unlikeable.
totally unattractive..

but that all is seriously in the past,
i've grown and i've matured and i've changed..
even when i told my MI friends about this
they can't believe i was that bad, hahaha.
to think my sec sch buds actually accepted and appreciated me :P

sometimes i still don't know.
on one hand, i still prefer SAJC.
on the other, going MI has certainly changed me for the better,
in so many ways.
sometimes i still ask myself
if i had a choice now,
would i choose SAJC or MI?
maybe i should have followed my close friends and took triple sci in sec3.
maybe i should have studied harder.
maybe i should retaken my o's.
maybe, maybe, maybe...
whatever it is, GOD has already placed me here,
so why don't i just trust him and go ahead with whatever HE has planned?

im almost coming to the end of my 3 year stay in MI.
looking back, i've been through so much shit
but yet, i can still gladly smile and say
"thank you GOD."

may GOD mould me into the person HE wants me to be, amen.

but you're out of my reach, forever

sometimes, you really seem so distant, so far away..
i just wish i could grab you and bring you close to me..
talk about "so near yet so far", hahaha.
but it's okay,
i'll just do what's right
even though i wish you could surprise me again
by sending that msg,
oh wells.

on a happier note,
i can't wait for later.
going crash town with my church buds.
more good food, more good bowling, more good dessert.
need a break =)

when darkness turns to light

sometimes i'd like to think -
unfortunate as it is
i’ve just realized that almost all my life
i’ve always ended up caring and loving the wrong people –
people who never cared about me and will never care.

but instead of dwelling myself in self pity,
why don't i just rely on GOD to provide for me from day to day?
i just gotta look around and be grateful for whatever/whoever i have
and i'll realise that there's nothing to be really sad about (even if there is) :)
come to think of it, i've been pretty fine actually.

instead of being hurt and all,
i ought to focus on how i can impact others,
i guess that's more meaningful after all.

okay, i'm gonna end this saga here. shalln't blog about this "issue" anymore..
this marks the end of the period of trying and i guess i've emerged victorious.
hah. case closed, and i'm fine :)

btw, my gp prelims today were fine
i guess all the consultation helped alot.
just treated it like another practice, so thank GOD.

going for midweek later, can't wait.
i love my church buds.

reality grips you

olympics is over, i'm gonna miss it.
too bad brazil didnt get to defend it's world's champion title for volleyball.
but still, they were good.

combined was crazy, yet great.
it sure was hell was tiring
from preping the ppt slides, planning games
and even running about the games and also ensuring matters were settled.
but then again, i guess im pretty used to all these.
at least i can take a break.

speaking of which,
i don't study on weekends.
being so caught up with church and church peeps
i'm all so busy and tired to study.
but now as sch resumes tmr,
fear is gripping me.
i wanna do well,
at least well enough to go to uni.
GOD help me please.

sometimes, it's really great to care for others.
and it's even greater when they respond and appreciate your company.
reaching out to others is never easy,
but GOD will help me do what's right and wise.

i truly thank GOD for church friends,
today while departing for home
i suddenly realise my wallet was missing.
didn't want to catch any unwanted attention so i went abt searching quietly,
but as i started to panic a lil in the church office admist the searching
bro mat asked me "looking for something?"
i was like yeah i think i lost my wallet.
immediately EVERYONE in the office stopped their mini conversations,
got up from their seats
and went all over church wallet-hunting.
well, i eventually found it
but it was really great seeing how everyone was
actively and sincerely helping me locate my wallet
also, the smile on their faces when i eventually found it =)
but it was kinda retarded, having like 6 other guys
helping me search for my wallet.
yup guys from my age, adults and almost senior citizens too helping me.
thanks alot man!
church rocks.

i finally got to see you after so long
and sometimes i really wonder..
but then again, i ought to move on.

back to studying for me, then.