self conflicted

yup, i guess
caring for someone unconditionally is indeed
an unrealistic, difficult thing to do.
and i'm not the only person who thinks so, heh.

that aside,
it's funny how we've one mind
but two different entities in it.
one desires to do what's right,
the other desires to do whatever it wants.
one desires to be selfless, caring and sensible,
the other, selfish, nonchalant and reckless.
for me,
i guess i struggle between
caring for others unconditionally
and wanting something in return; to be appreciated, to be reciprocated.
but i guess i ought to be selfless,
even if it means that whatever i do may go in vain.

btw, prelims are over
i'm taking a good break.
and i mean good.

take me away

as lame as it sounds,
but whenever i'm feeling blue, sad, confused or lost in thoughts
playing computer games actually helps.
all of a sudden, i dont need to bother anymore.

i love WoW, period.

my head spins

to think i actually dreamt of you
telling me you wanted to be with me..
but reality bites when i woke up, oh wells
hahahah.

that aside, prelims have been okay, i guess.
and i've been feeling sick.

feels good to be loved

she exclaimed "benjay!" as she jumped in, right in front of me;
with that ever so excited, ever so delighted face of hers.
"why are you so happy?" i asked her in disbelief.
she stepped forward quietly and whispered "i miss you"

looks like the highlight of the day
wasn't my crammed palm after all :)

slowly, we're shedding our old self

jona said,
"it's always this phase we go through"

after a good talk with smelly girl yesterday,
i realise how much we've all changed - for the better.
frankly speaking i dont really like
to be reminded of my past, but hey,
ain't i'm out of it? :)

sorry janice my bffff bout being so emo this past one month
things' been happening but i'm fine and getting better,
will update you on email later :)
have fun in the states meantime!

prelims is tmr,
someone please tell me why i should be frightened.

faith w/o works is dead.
likewise we love GOD by loving others.
okay, off to bed before i start my chionging!

disturbia

i don't know why im so caught up with those thoughts again.
to go for it, or to take a step back.
frankly speaking, i'm quite tired.

wow, to think 5 days just passed like that.
i had fun today,
and that calls for a good sleep :)

prelims' in 2 days time,
and right now, i seriously don't want to bother anymore.

it's a slow growing but there's a knowing

come to think of it,
perhaps i should've put in that extra effort just for you..
oh wells.

actions definitely speak louder than words.
it's seriously no point in telling others you care
but when you guys meet up you act like you don't care..
no matter how emotionless you are,
i'm sure that's always ways to show you care.
something i need to think about.

"people don't open their hearts to preoccupied, fast-paced individuals;
they will to those who make the time to sit quietly, ask gently, and listen intently."
a good food for thought.