little by little

sometimes it's funny at how you think
you went through enough shit to make you strong
but then realising that you're still not strong enough.
"in my weakness HIS strength is revealed"
yup, if i was that strong i wouldn't need GOD, wouldn't i?

i admit, it's been so long
but i miss having a friend like you.
then again, i guess everyone's moved on in their own lives
and our friendship ain't coming back,
well at least not the way things were..
reality suck balls sometimes,
but while things come to a close
they point to a new beginning.

maybe i was too excited to move on,
maybe i was rash. maybe i was too impulsive.
maybe i made the wrong choice of sticking to the wrong person.
but since it's come this far, i'll take it as it is.
and no, insecurities are meant to be over.
yup everyone has scars, but seriously, is there any need to be insecure?
not with the one above, at least!
choices are important, they make your future,
and a bright one is all i want.

HE's changing me, little by little -
everyday and everyway.

contemplating, just contemplating

i know it's been sometime,
but i've been busy, i've been tired, i've been lazy.

first and foremost, a big thanks
to my dearest church peeps who actually camped
in my house to surprise me on my birthday,
i was really tired, but i also remembered.
and thanks to everyone who remembered
and those who got me stuff too, though someone
just had to lose my birthday present before giving it to me, hah.
but still, thanks anyway.

a division is finally over.
it was indeed a great experience, though i did make grave stupid mistakes
but still, all in the name of hockey.
i did had a blast being here,
although it has been only 6 months.
now, it's time to focus on my studies.

that aside, i have been surviving.
school this year is as boring and tiring as ever.
everyone's just so low spirited, unlike last year.
i've been stressed, tired and more tired.
and i had a taste of insonmia too, HAHA!

i've learnt a few things over the past 1 month:
1) sometimes it's hard to choose between what's best and what you want
2) sometimes time does make the difference
3) sometimes it pays off to be less paranoid and less insecure

sometimes i wished i didn't care.
sometimes i wished i could care.
sometimes i wished things didnt have to work out this way.
sometimes i wished i wasn't so confused too.
i need to continue to look to Him whenever dark clouds cover my vision,
cos He's always there.