against the current

what a busy weekend in church
with more practices and practices to do =)
thank GOD everything went well today,
it's been great serving.
and a great message too;
i ought to start pondering over the right things.

sighs,
sometimes i just wished that
alot of things in my life didnt have to turn out this way
if i could go back in time,
i'll probably would have reversed ALOT of things
but it's no use looking back now.
like what i learnt today about not giving up
but to to take confidence in Him and move forward.
help me do what's right and wise;
that's my desire.
if only my flesh wasn't weak
when my spirit is willing.

sometimes i just wished things could be different
and that you could be different.
but right now,
i really wished you'll say that you'll go the extra mile for me
but i guess i'm in denial.

slipping through my fingers

times passes fast,
and the hols are over.
not much of a hol however, with hockey everyday,
it's practically my life in MI now.
as much as i love the game,
it sometimes really wears me out.
but as of now, i thank the Lord for safety, really.

today wasn't a very good day.
the weather was bad
i was all angsty and all,
i was struggling with my service prac
and i lost something for the first time in my life.
sometimes i really can't stand myself, esp my flaws.
i need HIM who refreshes and recharges me.
i can't go on like this forever..

it's been years already,
yet even striking a conversation now seems to be so tough.
what on earth is happening?
yeah, i guess now matter how much you've moved on,
it's hard to forget something/someone in which you're
put alot of emotions in;
that's life benjay.
what else can you do but to be strong in the Lord?
"He gives rest to all who are heavy laden"
i think this verse is all i need, for now.

celebrate good times cmon'

CT stats are out!
im top 5% in level and 14th of level =)
thank GOD for HIS blessings,
really wasn't expecting it.

my a's are out!
H1 maths: B
H1 chinese: E
it was a day of anxiety, hugs and tears.
i thank GOD for my results,
and i want the same or even better feeling when i get my H2s.
gotta work hard!

had hockey friendliess yest.
we won IJC 1-0
we won NTU 4-2 =)
it was kinda nerve wrecking in some sense,
im not used to this type of stress.
but it was a good experience,
learnt alot, yearning to improve even more.
anyways thank GOD i managed to survive with such a leg.
hope it heals faster though.

btw, bowling & (accompanying my friend)shopping was greatt.

food for thought:
it's pointless appreciating someone if you won't say it
it's pointless caring for someone if you won't show it.
love without action is tantamount to not loving at all.
if you care, show it.

goodnight y'all.

trigerrr

tis' been quite a while hasn't it?

i just wanna thank GOD for a few things:
1) relatively good CT results; top 7% in school (based on the fact i passed everything)
2) cleared my NAPFA with a silver; no more booking in 3 months early!
3) no injuries from hockey over the past 3 weeks
4) for the discipline to complete my sunday bible class homework, attending class regularly
5) for great friends in my life

life definitely isn't something very exciting or enjoyable all the time
sometimes it seems like there's more downs than ups
sometimes you feel confused, sad, lost, lonely, weary and discouraged
sometimes nothing seems to be able to lift you
yet somehow or rather there's this comforting hope and assurance
that there's someone watching over me, answering my cries, taking care of me
yes, sometimes life gets you down
but with GOD i know i'll be strong enough, strong enough to face it with a smile =)
after all, he saved me from this place.

i still need loads of wisdom;
to guide my thoughts, words and deeds each day.
i also need to sort out my priorities;
it about time i know what and who matters.

btw, i fell and scrapped my knees badly on saturday.
walking and sleeping and bathing has never been that uncomfortable before
and all that pus, grossed out man.
hopefully, i'll heal fast by wed.
i've already missed training today.

and it was so embarrasing in church
cos i was limping and my church friends so had to go
"eh! i see mas selamat, someone please call the police!"
and
"eh, actually i think you two look quite alike."
and
"you better be careful when you leave church, people might just come and nab you"
stupid asses. in front of everyone some more.
and while practicing for the men's item,
i wanted to help play a note on the piano (since i was the nearest to it)
to start off the note for the a capella,
wj so had to say
"eh i think i'll do it, since i walk faster than you"
darn, he was at least 5 metres away behind me!

okay, i'm off to bed.
laughing matters aside, i've still got loads of pondering and reflecting to do.

what i've done

i had a good week i guess.
CT turned out to be alright.
my goal - pass all.
apart from that i had 2 days of no school (:
good time of relaxing and catching up with friends man.

my friend once told me that there's a purpose behind
every friendship he makes.
at first i was kinda skeptical about it
but as i thought about it, it makes sense.
i ought to sort my thoughts again.

sometimes i wish i had self control;
not just the words that come out of my mouth
but also in my actions and emotions..
i just wish i could control myself better;
i wouldn't have said/done so many impulsive and stupid things.
but what's done is done,
don't look back, start now.
i'm still under refining, mind you (:

i think i've found my total opposite;
yet with such a friend i'm actually learning more about myself, hah.
how long will this go on, i really wonder..

alright, school's tomorrow.
and im so stressed about hockey, gah.
i guess i'm slowly learning the art of letting go (:

blasttt!

CNY was as a usual,
yet a good distraction.
a great time
away from CT,
away from hockey,
away from whatever shit else problems.
and though i feel ill,
i sure had some fun!

"sometimes its good to let the head lead the heart."

whatever it is,
no matter how tough/painful it was/is
no matter how much shit i had to go through
something good came out of it
like i told jason
"you go through similar circumstances again to know how much you've grown."
i don't deny that i still do care, a lot
but this time,
i'll just say "come what may"
((:

for i know what'er befall me, jesus doeth all things well.
this my song thru endless ages, jesus led me all the way.
(:

today sure was fun (tiring & painful too)
but fellowship sure is sweet,
especially if its over wii, HAHAHA!




baby, you make me smile ((:
even if its just 10 mins of your voice.

here i go again

week's been tiring as usual
i don't have any days whereby i can really sleep til' i'm satisfied =(
CNY's round the corner
but i've been too tired and busy
to actually shop until finally today.
CT's after that, more studying to do!

well, it certainly was great to be back in church this weekend again
though i go twice every week,
somehow things are always refreshing and new (:
i just thank GOD for the company of church friends;
i feel recharged.
yes, there's still certain things i still need to get over every week,
but hey, there's more to just that.

sometimes i wonder why i have to experience dejavu all over again
maybe i thought i was strong, maybe i thought i was ready
hah, looks like i still have a long way to go after all (:

GOD sure knows what HE's doing,
and i ought to be thankful for that.
i guess right now
it's come what may;
whatever will be, will be
all according to HIS plan (:
i just need the wisdom and strength to face it.

though sometimes i admit
i just can't understand why certain things must happen
but then again
blessed is the man who puts his trust in GOD,
amen.